In Loving Memory of Keith and Maria's Daughter
Baby Angell born March 4, 1997
I just wanted you to know that I made it home.
The journey wasn't an easy one, but it didn't take long.
Everything is so pretty here, so white, so fresh, so new.
I wish you could close your eyes and that you could see it too.
Please try not to be sad for me.
Please try to understand that God is taking care of me...
In the shelter of His hands.
Here there is no sadness, no sorrow, and no pain.
Here there is no crying and I'll never hurt again.
Here it is so peaceful when all the angels sing.
I really have to go for now...I just have to try my wings.
-Author Unknown
At the Shore. by Kara L.C. Jones
-dedicated to my son Dakota
born still at full-term on
March 11, 1999 at 4:47 p.m.
When I wasn't looking
my son became the ocean shore,
he became that sound of rocks
shuffling around
surfing against one another
clanking like diamonds
being polished from their rough,
he became the ebb & flow
of grief, the tide inching up on me
then suddenly flooding me,
he became wet sand
grits in my hair
rubbing my scalp raw till
only my husband's tender hands
could pick out the pieces & tangles.
My son became a baby crab
frantically crawling sideways,
scared to death when the huge rock
was suddenly turned over,
burrowed furiously under another rock-
not my rock, not my womb,
but back to the Goddess' womb-
he became a sea anemone,
an enigma to me, sometimes
wide open and pulsing when
washed over with salt water,
my tears, sometimes
hard and closed
barely moving between tides.
When I wasn't looking
my son left me and took on
the world, went back to being
the Spirit who is so
much bigger than
his tiny body was,
went back to become
that sound of surf,
lapping the shore,
the ceaselessness of waves.
In the space between each moment
in the lines between the lines
in the space between each heartbeat
I can hear you
In the stillness of the morning
in the silence of the night
in the glance that goes forever
I can see you
I hear you in the wind
I feel you in the rain
I see you in the skies above
Dakota, my son,
Dakota, my son,
I hear you
and I feel you
and I'm missin' you, my son,
yes, I'm missin' you,
my son.
